Having coached hockey since 2005/06, I've probably coached 15 teams, 225 players, maybe about 75 of those in multiple years over the eight years. I had decided in December that this would be my last year of coaching. I wanted to just "enjoy" watching my kids play, and just be a hockey dad. :)
The coaching finale was to be tonight. My older daughter's team was in the Championship game, what a great way to end it, right?
Let me tell you a bit about our 2013/14 team, so you know where they came from. Our team of 12/13 year olds was put together in October. We had a few players that would be playing their first year of hockey. Expectations were pretty low, and the coaching staff knew we had our work cut out for us. From the first practice, we knew the girls had come to play! After a sluggish start, the girls started to gel. They bonded, they started to genuinely care about each other, and they became a tight knit squad. Isn't that the beauty of team sports? Involvement in team sports really does teach children life lessons that set them up for the future. Care, respect, team work, love, overcoming fear, handling failure, and what it takes to win.
I've had many awesome days behind the bench or on the ice. There have also been heartbreaking losses, injuries and some trying times with overzealous parents. The TOUGHEST of all nights, was tonight. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't that we lost in the Championship Game, which we did. It was more than that. It was about a player, someone's child, and indirectly as her coach - one of my children! About 20 minutes before the game, our Trainer approached me and asked to have a word with me. She proceeded to tell me that during our two week break while waiting for tonight's game, one of our players had a serious operation and would not be in the lineup. She then told me what had happened to Sylvie, one of our most improved players. I was devastated. See, we had played our final playoff game two weeks ago Saturday. As Sylvie was leaving the arena, I pulled her aside and told her that was her best game ever. She was solid in a big win that clinched our birth in the Championship Game. I told her to rest up and be ready for tonight. Well, about 10 days ago - 4 days after that game - Sylvie had brain surgery to remove an aggressive tumour. Surgery was successful and Sylvie wanted to come and support her teammates as they played for Gold. That's what team sports is all about. All for one and one for all! Bad news though. Sylvie was hospitalized again three days ago due to complications. She was released from hospital this morning and our trainer wasn't sure if Sylvie would still be coming or not. Everything to do with the sport had just taken a backseat. The health of our player, our teammate, one of our family was the focus. After spending two weeks trying to design a game plan around beating the best goalie in the league, it wasn't important anymore. The only thing of importance was that Sylvie be well.
I had to break the news to the team, but when? Do I do it now? Do I do it during my pre-game talk? Do we do it after the game? I decided we had to do it before the game started so that if Sylvie did come we could show her how much we appreciated her. I reiterated last game's speech about playing for each other, caring about their teammates, and no matter what happens not giving up on each other. However, tonight it wasn't about winning or losing, tonight it was about playing for Sylvie just like Sylvie had played for us all year. Michelle, our trainer, went over details of what had happened just so the girls wouldn't be shocked or scared when they saw Sylvie. The girls took it on themselves that they would hit the ice hard and play for Sylvie tonight. They went out hard, they owned the game, and they played their best game ever. In the third period, Michelle looked at me and said "Sylvie is here"! We were down 1-0 at the time. How do I get the girls to stop playing and acknowledge their teammate? I called a time out. The ref asked if I wanted to use it later since I may pull the goalie. I said "no", this wasn't about a game anymore. This was about life. I was so proud of the girls as they skated down the ice together, raised their sticks and tapped the glass to let Sylvie know they were "on her team". Sylvie showing up a few hours after being released from the hospital showed the rest of the team that even is she was down, she was still "on their team" as well. It was quite an emotional moment, one that the girls will never forget. One that I will never forget. It was a night where life was put back into perspective. It was about my players maturing into caring and loving human beings, knowing that they play the game because they love it, but also realizing that it only is just a game. It was about Sylvie coming out to show that she was the "One For All", it was about the rest of the team showing her that they were "All For One"!
This had to be one of my toughest nights as a coach, a parent and just as a person. Our biggest fear is something terrible happening to our children, or to take it further, ANYONE"S child. Tonight I learned a lot about myself as well. I may "just be coaching" your child, but in some way that also makes them my child. I thought I coached for the love of the game. I don't coach for the love of the game and probably never have. I learned that I coach for the love of the children. Making them better people is the goal, and if they become better athletes in the process then that's just a bonus.
Putting Silver Medals around the girls' necks was a great feeling, but an even better feeling was walking over to the boards to put one around Sylvie's neck and watching the players gather around her so we could include her in the team picture. Moments like that have made coaching these amazing children so worthwhile. Seeing how they put Sylvie first and the game second makes it all worthwhile. As coaches and parents, we should be so proud of these girls. They showed that winning and losing at sports doesn't mean that much when compared to the health of a teammate/sister/friend.. Being great human beings and caring for one another comes first.
Everyone, please pray for Sylvie. Please pray that this smart, beautiful and caring little girl recovers from her surgery and lives a full and happy life. Hug your kids a little tighter tonight and think of what Sylvie's parents must be going through and keep them in your thoughts and prayers. Thank you!
BTW, the girls lost 1-0 on the scoreboard, however they won 100-0 in my heart. I don't think any one of them cared what the score was. They were just happy to celebrate their silver medals with Sylvie. That's exactly how it should be. Life comes first! We need to keep things in perspective.
Great picture of the team as they head over to the boards to
include Sylvie (back row with sunglasses) in the team picture!