Top Secret Government Deal Leaked? Did Canada Buy Out The USA?
Speculation over the last few years has been that Canada and the USA have brokered a secret deal that has allowed Canada to purchase the United States of America. Dating back to the bailout days of 2013, the subtle changes being made in the USA have caused an uproar with Americans, and the general public was starting to catch on. It is now becoming quite clear that the bailout money may not have come from the US Federal Reserve, and that the money was actually a deposit from Canada for the purchase of the USA.
"The signs were there from the start, we aren’t stupid" says one American that preferred to remain anonymous. "The resurgence of the housing market, the snow in California, government regulated Health Care, and more recently Gun Control and a medal in the 2016 World Junior Hockey Tournament have let the cat out of the bag. Coincidence? We think not!”.
"This has been in the works for years” said another American. "When they sent Wayne Gretzky and other hockey players over, their goal was to infiltrate the USA’s hockey system and change the style of play to a more Canadian way. This isn’t a surprise. We saw this coming.”
In Alaska, Sarah Palin admits that she "may not have seen Russia from her porch, and that it could have been Canada disguising itself as Russia by importing Russian snow."
Buffalo, NY, has been accepting the Canadian dollar at par for years. Retailers and Restauranteurs in the Niagara Falls region admit that Canada’s largest cross border purchase will have significant financial gains on their business. “Now that we will be using the same currency, it will cut down on exchange rate losses” said the retailer. “Canadian money denominations are so easily distinguishable with the different colors they use, and will make things easier for our staff who often can’t tell if they’ve received a $20 or $50 bill.”
Watch for a public outcry in the next few weeks when it becomes public that Presidential Election front runner, Donald Trump, brokered the deal that sold out the USA to their neighbour (yes, with a U). Apparently, Trump and Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau have already worked out an arrangement that will see Trudeau take over the top job to run the two nations and Trump will become a Member of Parliament on the Canadian side. Americans are not pleased. “The similarities between those two are scary, both their names start with TRU” said one person”. “Is it not weird that Donald’s last name also starts with TRU, and he’s going to become an MP? This is not sitting right.”
Michigan residents believe the new bridge between Detroit and Windsor was part and parcel of the Canadian purchase. Will this "pave the way" for better hockey in the USA and cheaper oil prices in Canada? Or is this as fictitious as Sarah Palin seeing Russian snow from her porch? ;)